Thursday, 31 July 2014

Mermaid










Top - Primark
Shorts - New Look (Similar)
Flip-Flops - Havaianas
Anklet - Bought in Fuerteventura
Sunglasses - River Island (Similar)

Today we have been to the beach. The water was fairly clear and warm, and I splashed around in there to my heart's content, jumping waves and swimming. I like to think I looked like a beautiful mermaid, but I'm afraid I am more likely to have resembled a washed-up sea urchin (see the photo of me almost falling over to confirm this).

I unfortunately only have two more days of my holiday left. But I'm looking forward to being able to write more interesting posts than 'I have been sunbathing today yet again', and know I will return to Italy at some point in the future (hopefully next year!). I'm also excited to put up some better quality photos when I get home!

Hannah x

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Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Viva la vida












Skirt - Topshop
Top - Asos
Necklace - eBay
Earrings - New Look

Today we visited a town called Monopoli which is situated on the sea front. It is another one of those places where an impressive building will just suddenly pop up when you turn a normal corner. The outfit I'm wearing in the photos was from last night - I didn't wander round all dressed up like that! It was really windy this morning; I couldn't even eat my Cheerios outside as they kept blowing out of my bowl.

I've decided that I need to start living life for myself and how I want to; I have lived my life through others for a long time, and now I need to start putting myself first. I need to stop caring about what other people think and be a little bit more selfish, not trying to please everyone all the time! So from now on I'm only doing things that I want to do - hopefully it helps even more in my recovery :)

Hannah x

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

One step forward, two steps back









Top - Topshop
Shorts - Primark
Sandals - Primark
Necklace - Bought in Italy
Anklet - Bought in Italy (Similar)
Sunglasses - River Island (Similar)

Spent another day in the pool again today, so not much to say! Haven't felt overly great this afternoon, probably been over-thinking things. Like maybe this blog is pointless and isn't going to help anyone? Or maybe it's just annoying people? I know I'm not going to get better straight away and that I will have bad days, but it's frustrating how long mental health takes to heal - there's no simple cure for it.

However, I'm actually really excited for what the future holds for me at the moment, which is a good sign because usually my depression stops me from even getting through that day. I've got quite a lot of plans for the summer, including an exciting project which I'll reveal when I get home. I'm also looking forward to starting the third year of my degree; I'm moving into a house with four lovely girls, which is going to be really fun.

Hannah x

Monday, 28 July 2014

All that jazz





Dress - Primark
Sandals - Primark
Earrings - New Look
Bag - New Look

Last night when we were looking for a pizzeria we stumbled across a jazz festival. There was a big stage set up in the main piazza and the atmosphere was amazing. I love the crooning sound of a saxophone, it's really pleasant to sit and listen to and can be really uplifting. We also saw a massive pug, which is always a plus. I wore the dress in the photos above - it's actually a few years old but I love the colours in it, and there's plenty of room for a food baby after a pizza!

Today we went to a town down south called Lecce. I love how in Italy you can be walking down a normal small street and then suddenly come across a huge cathedral. The architecture here is incredible; the attention to detail can't be ignored, even if you don't know much about buildings like me.

I fall in love with Italy more and more every time I come here - the language; the laid back lifestyle; the beautiful towns; and of course, the FOOD (how is Italian pizza so good?!).

Hannah x

Sunday, 27 July 2014

A book, a discovery, and a whole lot of courage






Today has been another day just spent round the pool, after the disaster of yesterday. I spent some time cleaning out the pool (pictured above), and even managed to get a massive spider out (also known as the scariest and most disgusting creature ever).  I also thought I would mention the book I have just finished as I really enjoyed it; it's called One Night In Italy by Lucy Diamond, and is easy to read and perfect for a holiday. I also learnt a few words of Italian along the way! I'm now reading What a Girl Wants by Lindsey Kelk, who is one of my favourite authors - her I Heart series are funny and relatable, and well worth a read.

I also discovered something about myself that I hadn't really thought about before. My mum told me this morning that I'm a very calming person to be around, as I was at the hospital yesterday. When I'm depressed I focus more on the bad things about me rather than the good, so it was a really nice thing to hear. I suppose I don't ever really panic (I worry, but I don't panic), and I'm fairly good at calming people down if need be.

Someone I know has recently made the life-changing decision of changing from one degree to another, as the first wasn't working for her. I think she is really brave - sometimes courage is about deciding something isn't quite right and facing up to that fact, and I am really proud to call her my friend.

Off to a pizzeria now for tea :)

Hannah x

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Ospedale





Dress - H&M (Similar)
Necklace - eBay
Anklet - Bought in Italy (Similar)

So the good news is that the wifi is working again, the bad is that I've spent all day in hospital... Dad has diabetes and his blood sugars were really high this morning after vomiting. The same thing has happened twice before; the first time he got a serious condition called diabetic ketoacidosis, so we thought we should get him checked out. They gave him fluids and some insulin and thankfully let him out this evening, and he seems alright now. It's horrible being in a hospital when you can't speak the language, especially if you're somewhere as rural as we're staying as a lot of the locals don't speak English. I've always wanted to speak Italian - perhaps now would be a good time to learn!

The first time Dad was rushed into hospital with his diabetes was in May and was awful; he was really confused and also got acute kidney failure as a consequence. Being a medical student, I knew a bit more of what was going on than my mum did, so I was explaining as much as I could to her. It was a gift knowing more in a way as it helped us understand what was going on, but on the other hand I knew how serious my dad's condition was. My depression was slowly coming back just before this event, and a few days later it got really bad - I think because I had to hold my emotions in for my mum. It's horrible seeing someone that's usually so strong and the one to sort out your problems so ill.

This is the fifth time my family and I have been in hospital over the last three months for various reasons, and let's hope it's the last for a long time. I don't want to be inside another hospital until September, when I start the third year of my degree!

Sorry for the squinty eyes in these photos and the bad lighting... I can't wait to be able to upload photos from my DSLR again so they're better quality. These were taken last night, as I've just been in a vest top and shorts all day today, which isn't a particularly interesting outfit.

Hannah x

Friday, 25 July 2014

Le capre








Dress - Primark
Sandals - New Look
Necklace - Asos
Anklet - Accessorize
Sunglasses - River Island

I'm actually posting this from a supermarket, of all places. Our wifi isn't working at the house so I'm not sure how frequent my posts will be next week, but I'll try my best!

Last night we had a visit from some neighbouring goats (capre); they ate our shrubbery and then left. Fleeting visit, but hilarious all the same as there was a random man yelling at them in Italian and they were completely ignoring him.

Today we went to a town called Alberobello. It has loads of trulli all over the town, just like the one we're staying in. So cute!

Hopefully post soon...

Hannah x

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Sky full of stars






Top - Asos
Skirt - Primark
Sandals - Primark
Earrings - Topshop
Anklet - Accessorize

I actually wore this outfit last night for dinner, but thought I'd post it today as all I've worn all day is a bikini! Had another lazy day around the pool (the best kind of day), catching up on sleep and reading. Last night after we ate I lay on one of the sun loungers for ages and star gazed - it's really therapeutic and makes you realise how big the universe really is. So many people with so many problems, it really puts things into perspective.

Haven't felt overly great today - I actually kind of wish I was at home with my friends to cheer me up! I'm always best when I'm busy, otherwise I sit there thinking too deeply into things.

Hannah x

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Hello, I'm Hannah and I'm a third year medical student

Medical Student Bambi Top

 


Bambi Top






Top - Primark
Shorts - Forever 21 (Similar)
Jelly Sandals - Primark
Choker - Miss Selfridge
Anklet - Bought in Fuerteventura
Sunglasses - River Island

I found out that I passed my second year of university today!!! So I'll be going into my third year in September. I'm really quite proud of myself as I was going through such a bad period before and during exams with my depression - I couldn't see past the next day, let alone think about getting through exams. I'm really relieved that I can now just relax completely and enjoy the rest of my summer.

Today we visited a nearby town called Martina Franca; it has a lovely historic centre and lots of winding streets to explore. The flowers in the photo of the bike above are actually made of sweets, they were so cute. I seemed to get a lot of funny looks - possibly because I was dressed like a baby in a Bambi top and jelly shoes? Ah well, I love wearing nostalgic clothing that takes me back to being a child. I remember having little purple sparkly heeled jelly shoes when I was about 6, and felt so grown up until they gave me awful blisters and I went crying to my mum.

Hannah x

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Lessons learned

Lessons learned from depression


Motel Black Sunflower Dress


Dress - Motel
Sandals - New Look
Choker - eBay
Necklace - Bought in Italy

My depression has actually taught me a lot of lessons, and although it brings me a lot of pain I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. A few of these lessons are listed below.

1) It's okay to ask for help
At first I was ashamed of how I was feeling and thought I would have to deal with it by myself; however it was such a relief to admit to my mum that I was suffering. Professional help such as medication and counselling really makes me feel better, as well as the support from people around me. There is so much help out there for people with mental health problems, you just have to pluck up the courage to ask for it.

2) I'm never alone
Depression is such a lonely illness - it makes you feel like nobody cares about you and would be better off without you being here. However my family and friends have been so supportive and have made sure that I never feel like I can't talk to anyone. The support from starting this blog has been amazing, and I always think it's important to remember that I'm not the only one going through depression - millions of people suffer from it and there is always someone out there to contact, even if it's Samaritans or Mind.

3) I am a strong person
I have been through so much and I'm still here. It is such a cliche but going through hard times really does make you stronger. I used to think that I was a weak person for getting upset over little things, but I have proved to myself that I can get through things, and I can get better.

4) I deserve to get better and live life to its fullest
My illness used to make me believe that I was a bad person and deserved to feel bad, however I have recently realised that I am entitled to feel happy and have a good life. I don't want to feel bad forever and am really determined that I will beat it once and for all this time. Here's to happiness (wow that was cheesy)!

I have spent my day today sunbathing and sleeping - it's amazing how something that doesn't cost anything can make you feel so good.

Hannah x