Today has been a bit of a funny one. I nearly wanted to throw my phone at the wall when my alarm clock went off this morning, yet I was awake anyway due to not sleeping that well. I got up and went to university, making all of the usual motions, but I just couldn't get myself going. Something inside me wouldn't let me feel 'normal' so I just walked round feeling odd all day. I guess it's my black dog, dragging me down once again.
My Nan's funeral is looming over me as it will be held on Thursday, and I feel a little bit in limbo, waiting for it to happen. I have found that bereavement is a funny thing - it hasn't really felt real to me currently, especially as I haven't been home and the funeral hasn't happened yet.
I am going home tomorrow for the Christmas holidays and I really can't wait! I have really begun to struggle the past couple of days (that's what being at uni since August does to you) and am completely ready to go home and be looked after for a while. I haven't done an outfit post or anything like that for a couple of weeks (last one here), but that will all change over Christmas - expect some glitter and sparkles for the festive season! My self-esteem hasn't been great the past couple of weeks so I haven't really felt like having photos taken of myself, but I have a couple of pieces that I really want to show on here so will have to buck up my ideas and pose for the camera.
I read this article by Jamie Flexman today and found it really interesting. I think he really captured the essence of depression and how it can be stigmatised. He explains how it is physical as well as mental - when you think about it it's just your brain hurting, which is a physical organ. Jamie also has an amazing blog here - definitely worth a read. I will leave you with this quote that he wrote in the article I mentioned: