So this is what my day has looked like. I have spent the majority of it in bed in my Primark popcorn pyjamas (erm, how cute?), watching films and sleeping. I didn't wake up until 2.30pm and actually felt pretty bad at that point. I'm hoping that it's just an extension of being upset on Friday and still being tired, but I had loads of negative thoughts going round my head that I didn't seem to be able to stop. And then that made me feel like I didn't want to get out of bed, in fact I physically couldn't get out of bed - then my head started telling me that I was lazy and a bad medical student, and wham we're back to the start again. I don't think people always realise how upset thoughts can make you feel, but they are actually a huge part of my depression and are often what keeps my self-esteem so low. Maybe I will do a post on negative thoughts actually; it's something I haven't really covered on my blog so far.
After speaking to my mum, who always knows how to cheer me up, I watched Bad Neighbours and cheered myself up with a jar of Nutella. Bad Neighbours was actually really funny and did help to take my mind off things for a couple of hours. This evening I watched Ice Princess with my housemates which I haven't seen for years - I love watching old movies and feeling nostalgic. It came out in 2005 so I must have been about 12, it's crazy how quickly time flies. Sometimes I wish I was young again when everything seemed so easy; I didn't even know what depression was then. The most sad I got was when I lost one of the shoes for my Bratz dolls.
Basically today has been a bit of a write off, but sometimes you need a day to yourself to give yourself a little TLC and feel ready to take the next day on. I know that I feel a lot better this evening, and I'm hoping with a good night's sleep Monday morning won't be too painful for me.
Everybody deserves somebody who makes them look forward to tomorrow.
PS Please donate towards my sponsored skydive for Mind here, or text MIHV99 £1 to 70070 - thank you for your support!