Today has been an odd sort of day - I have not really had much to do, yet have had quite a lot of nervous energy. I woke up at 8.30am for some unknown reason and ended up watching Cinderella and Chicken Run (both great movies), before wandering around a bit aimlessly and tidying my room before New Year's Eve tomorrow. I still had a sort of nervous energy that was making me feel anxious and sick this evening, so I decided to have a long candlelit bath, which seemed to be the only thing that helped (even if I did come out looking like a prune).
I lit my new candle, Wax Lyrical in hyacinth, which smells absolutely divine, and lay in the bath with Justin Bieber accompanying me on my iPod. Afterwards I felt so much better and I am much more relaxed this evening. I haven't felt great the past few days, so am hoping that this is the start of a good period for me again - I want to get back to the relaxed and happy Hannah that I was last week!
Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.
Inspired by Jenny from Ginevrella, I decided I would do a round-up of my favourite posts I have written over the past 12 months. A lot of them are mental health based, but others are fashion or lifestyle. Have a read if you haven't before - hope you enjoy!
I really enjoyed writing this one - it made me realise how far I've come since I was 16 years old, in terms of my mental health and what I have learnt about myself. It really made me feel good about myself, and still makes me feel like that now when I read it back. Everyone should write a letter to their younger self at some point!
Body image is something that I've always struggled with, so this was an important post to write for me. It was quite a long post but, I feel, had a powerful message to it - that we should all love ourselves, no matter what shape or size we are. Again, a very positive blog post.
I love doing list posts, and had a lot of fun thinking of ideas for this one. There are a lot of things that make medical students slightly different to other people, as with most careers, so I managed to compile a list of 47 things that show you're a medical student
This is my second-most viewed blog post, with around 5000 page views. I asked my mum if she could write me a post for my blog about my depression, but I didn't expect it to be so powerful. She wrote so eloquently about coping with my depression from a parental view, and has helped so many people by doing so. It still makes me cry when I read it.
My Midcourse Ball in March marked the middle of my medical degree - at 2.5 years, and halfway through my third year. We had a posh venue in Liverpool and danced the night away after a wonderful dinner - it was such a lovely event to be celebrating with the rest of my year.
I think that it's so important to take a day off for the good of your mental health if you need it, and this post explains why. I also think it shouldn't be such a taboo to tell your employers why you need a day off - and not have to make up a physical illness as an excuse.
Antidepressants have a huge stigma around them, and yet so many people take them. From my medical experience so far, they are probably one of the most taken drugs, apart from anti-hypertensives and statins. This post explains why I take my antidepressants, and why the stigma around them needs to be challenged.
I included this post in my 2015 round-up because it may help others to overcome a low day when they are feeling depressed. I have written a list of things that help me, including spending time with a pet and writing it down.
7th July 2015 was a rather special day - it marked the end of my third year at medical school and a whole year of blogging. I wrote a little list about things I was proud of achieving during that 12 months, if you'd like to check it out.
I was so proud of myself the day I found I had got into my fourth year at medical school, especially with all of the lows and struggles that I have had. Can't believe I'm already nearly halfway through :)
I went to Umbria in Italy with my family over the summer and had such a lovely time, so had to include this post in my 2015 round-up. I always have the best time on our family holidays - we're all really close and enjoy each others' company.
I drove down to Somerset in November to stay in an amazing cottage with a few other blogging girls. We had a great weekend and it is definitely the best experience I have had through my blog yet. You can read about what we got up to here.
One of the most frustrating things in the world is not being able to sleep. Lying awake, thinking about everything and anything, feeling tired but not being able to shut the world out.
I have not been sleeping well for about 2 weeks - I think I've had one good night in the last 14 days. At the moment I am eventually drifting off at around 4am, although last night it was more like 6am, even if I read loads to make myself tired and try to count back from 500 in my head. I am consequently really tired in the day and end up napping, which means that I can sleep even less at night.
Being tired in the day is also awful, as it makes it difficult to function properly, or concentrate on anything. I'm not sure whether I'm not sleeping because of my depression, or just because I have a lot on my mind, but I really hope it sorts itself out soon!
As always, I had to wear as many Christmas presents as possible on Boxing Day (even a pair of pants!). I got the jumper, faux fur scarf, necklace, watch and Pandora bracelet and charm yesterday, and am in love with all of them - especially the unicorn charm.
Today we went to my grandparents' house to eat lots of food and play some board games. Grandma's mince pies are always amazing, but we also had some cold meats and salmon with baked potatoes and salad, and a buffet-style spread for tea.
I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas - I definitely did!!
Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.