Today has been a much better day than the past couple of days.
I woke up around lunchtime and spent a while chasing my dogs around the garden. Bruce has learnt a new trick of picking up 2 things at once, so if Buster has something he will take it off him and add it to whatever he's carrying around. Earlier he had a huge stick and a burst football in his mouth - and then ran at me so I almost got knocked over. Lovely dog.
The rest of the day was spent studying and sleeping, before a dinner of fish and chips.
I have generally felt more positive since I woke up, and have been able to challenge my negative thoughts much more. My mum also notices a physical change in me when I am feeling depressed, and told me this evening that I am looking much better in myself. I guess that just goes to show that mental illnesses affect you physically as well as mentally.
I'm still not feeling 100% so am going to take tomorrow off and head back up to Liverpool in the evening, but I am slowly getting there.
Depression is such an all-consuming illness, and it takes a while to get better from it. When I look back over the last few years I can see how far I have come, and I am so grateful for that. But the days where I have negative and scary thoughts, a deep ache in my chest, and no motivation, are still awful nonetheless. I am constantly tired and find it so difficult to get out of bed.
My family are so supportive of me and I am extremely thankful to them for trusting me to make decisions for myself and take time off university when I need it. I wouldn't be this well if it wasn't for them - I really am very lucky.
Anyway, well done if you got to the end of this extremely long and random post! And thank you for your continued support, or even for just reading this post, if this is your first time here :)